This is dumb.

But it is about that time of year again, the time of year when I get bored with my hair- cut, style, color, and everything that is in between.

This is stupid and annoying and lame and more things.

But with that said, while Ashlee Simpson and I do not have many things in common, we do seem to share a similar skin tone. I'd like your opinions on which hair color (ix-nay on the yle-stay) looks best in contrast to her skin.

I know, right? Completely vain, but if you all only knew how much my frizzy and out-of-control mane seriously (or not so seriously) impairs my life on a daily basis...

 

Also, would any ladies be willing to share the name of a miracle product that truly eliminates frizz; as in you have experienced the product first hand and are amazed by its ultra frizz-fighting results? Cremes, foams, sprays, mousses...anything, really.

Thank you so much for the help! 

And don't worry, I will not put forth any judgement upon you when you un-follow my blog as a result of this post.

It is just nonsense, after all.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Ladies,

Do you ever look at old photos or browse through former Facebook pictures and spot articles of clothing that you have not seen or thought of in years- particular items that seemed to have fallen off the face of your wardrobe? Yet you are absolutely certain that you did not throw or give them away. It was only one of your favorite and most flattering tops, after all.

Well, where did they go?!?

Old band t-shirts, blouses, pants, tops...

This realization has hit me more than once within the past week, and it is beginning to freak me out!

Did I put the clothing items into storage with the intent that I have "outgrown" them and then promptly forget what I had done?

Did they get lost in the hustle and bustle of a hectic vacation?

Did they get confused with a sibling's laundry and, in consequence, become subject to a new owner?

Maybe a former roommate borrowed the item and never gave it back.

I've moved several times; perhaps they were lost in the shuffle.

In any case, I can't say that I am fond of this trend.

Is there anybody out there that can relate to my plight? Or am I just completely nuts?

On to the next one.

One of my new year's resolutions is to be content in the now; to not constantly be looking forward to the next phase of my life because that of the current does not necessarily meet all of my standards or prior expectations. I have been having a problem with this since the latter part of my college years and am determined to successfully find my happy medium. It has to exist, it just has to.

I will be the first to admit, however, that I have not been doing well in this endeavor thus far. In fact, I have been failing miserably. One of the reasons I attribute this lack of success to is the weather. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy snow as much as the next person; cuddling next to a warm fire, watching movie after movie, drinking hot chocolate. Yes, I enjoy all of those things...in December...with perhaps a twinkling Christmas Tree and decorated stockings neatly placed all around. But once the holiday season ends I'd just as rather it become warm again. I dread January and February and all of the bitter and biting cold that the months bring with them.

What I am trying to say is that it is difficult to concentrate on finding the pleasantness in the now when all I can think about is warmth and the future. 

Sundresses, flip flops, road trips and travel, green trees, drinks on the patio, walking outside without packing on the layers, sunshine, air conditioning with the car windows rolled down, pools and sandy beaches, barefoot, tan lines, night outings with friends sans freezing in between venues...

OH, Spring! Hurry, hurry, hurry!

2010 Recap

It is better late than never to present a recap of the year that was 2010, right? I've decided that I really liked how my friend Ashley of Have Heart set up her recap post so I thought that I would play copycat.

2010

In January I reigned in the new year with my boyfriend's family in Missouri, began an internship with a local radio station, and took the GRE.

In February I started my blog, bought my ticket to Bonnaroo, and ate at The Yellow Porch on a romantic and classic Valentine's date with Eliot.

In March I attended the local Big Ears festival, celebrated Eliot and I's two year anniversary, watched endless hours of basketball during the NCAA tournament (Go Vols!), and took a spontaneous trip to New Orleans for Spring Break.

In April I began to appreciate the warm weather more than ever before; I was outside constantly. I watched Daniel Tosh perform at a comedy club, and came head to head with my inner struggle as to what to do with my life in regards to the immediate future. 

My life was also being predominantly led by my photojournalism course in which I had two major projects that month: Crunching Numbers and our surprisingly fun class trip to LaFollette, TN.

In May I went to the pool...a lot. I attended my last Volapalooza ever, GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE, purchased my MacBook, and received my Bonnaroo ticket in the mail.

In June I moved back home, attended three weddings (and photographed two), discovered Francesca's Collections, went to Bonnaroo, watched a lot of soccer, and took a spontaneous trip to Washington DC with my dad.

In July I helped my best friend cope through her first break up, was fortunate enough to see Modest Mouse for the second time, and I took some promotional photos for a prominent local radio personality.

In August I traveled to my birth town of Shreveport, Louisiana for a family wedding, went to Florida, celebrated my 100th blog post, saw Arcade Fire and Spoon in Alpharetta, Georgia, attended The Black Keys in Nashville, and was provoked to do a lot of soul searching.

In September I took my little sister to the zoo, was coming to my wit's end with serving tables, celebrated my 22nd birthday, rejoiced in the coming of my favorite season, and moved to Washington DC for an internship.

In October I received a visit a from Eliot in DC, took a trip to the Botanical Gardens, saw Joan Baez and Steve Earle in concert, and spent Halloween with my closest friends in my former college town.

In November I enjoyed DC during the height of fall, a close family friend and her family moved away, and I spent an eventful Thanksgiving with my family; leaving me scatterbrained and not wanting to return to DC for my final weeks of the internship.

In December I moved back home, our family dog of 14 years passed away, I waited until the last minute to do the bulk of my Christmas shopping, and I experienced my very first white Christmas.

[2010 was a fantastic year with rough patches throughout, of course, but fantastic nonetheless. 
I hope that 2011 brings just as much travel, family, and live music, but with the financial and physical stability to round it out.
That is truly my only new year's resolution; to find a job that I enjoy and that brings stability along with a foreseeable knowledge of the future.]

Really?!

While I sincerely hope that everybody out there is enjoying a hopeful, eventful, and fresh start to the new year, please keep me in your thoughts as my year is not up to the most fantastic of beginnings.

December 31, 2010: a hit and run ensues (and my car is the victim) to which the damage is not discovered until the following morning.

January 1, 2011: I am stricken with a fairly debilitating illness

January 2, 2011: illness continues and leaves me bedridden

January 3, 2011: beginning to regain strength, though still experiencing periods of fatigue

So much for a clean slate! Thanks a lot, Mother Nature.

It is only three days into the new year, and because of this unexpected turn of events I already feel like I am behind. My lack of energy bas prohibited and limited any progress in car searches, job searches, school searches, laundry and cleaning, editing, blog updates, etcetera.

I pray that tomorrow brings to me a refreshing dose of stamina and vigor as I am sick of my bedroom and would thoroughly enjoy being able to go outside into the fresh air without becoming faint after a simple trip down the stairs.

Wish me luck!

Beginning the End.

Today is my last Monday working at my internship in Washington DC! 

As excited as I am to put the experience behind me and to go forth, I am also severely humbled by the fact that I am essentially back to square one.

Job searching is a terribly frustrating process.

Daisy.

I woke to the news that our family dog of nearly 14 years passed away last night. Her name was Daisy, and she came to our family as a ray of hope during some really trying times.

I wish I had been there to say goodbye.

I feel so silly for being so sad, but I am really going to miss her. The house is going to seem so empty next time I go home.

My mom wrote a poem.

My sweet baby Daisy

My diamond in the rough

You came into our lives

When the going was tough

You barked and you played

And on your tippie toes stood

You gave us your love

And all that was good

We miss you, we love you

And please always know

You will  be in our hearts

Wherever we go!

Rest in peace, love.

okiknow.

I know that it isn't recommended to fill emotional voids with superficial, material things- like, for example, really awesome clothes, shoes, and accessories...

But I'd be lying out of my teeth if I said that it didn't bring a smile to this girl's face.

See?!

I don't hesitate to say that any girl would succumb to the power of a three story Forever 21- especially if it were only a 10 minute metro ride away.

Gym Class Hero.

Merely moments ago I was routinely hitting the gym for a moderately challenging cardio workout. Thanks for sharing, Emmy. Do you want a trophy?

Well, yes I do want one of those. However, that is not the point of this story, which actually does contain one.

An undertaking that I habitually indulge in while engulfed in my run/elliptical/stair-master/bike routine is to compete with the person on the machine that is directly to my right. That is, every so often I will subtly glance at their machine's info board and compare statuses- total miles ran, calories burned, level, time, etc.

I do not do this purposely, and I do not have an explanation as to why the person to my right is always my opponent as opposed to the one on the left. I do, however, always strive to make it a fair race (though unknowing on their part) by taking into consideration which one of us began their workout first coupled with a comparison of the challenger's weight, gender, and age.

While I repeatedly observe this personal habit and while it irks me to no end, I do nothing to put a stop to the practice because I find that I always work that much harder than I do if riding solo.

I want to "win" because it makes me feel good.

Today, I knew that I had my work cut out for me as my oblivious competition and I arrived at our cardio machines at the exact same time. Oh, a challenge eh? (<- I'm not really Canadian so I don't know why I added that.)

This girl meant business. Equipped with two sweatbands (for her wrist and forehead), a pair of sweatpants, a wife beater, and an attachable mp3 player- I'd be blatantly lying if I said that I wasn't a little intimidated...or a lot intimidated. Clearly this girl was either a marine in training or perhaps even a professional boxer in her spare time. Be it as it may, she embodied perfectly the persona of one who actually works out for fun. You know, enjoys it.
For a brief moment I even thought that perhaps she plays the same game that I play since the two of us were stretching at the same time, approached the machine at the same time, and then flipped on our miniature TVs at the same time.

Oh, it's going down.

It didn't take long for me to realize, however, that I had made a horrible mistake in my assumption and that the inferred race was all in my head and my head alone.

To put it simply, I have never seen a person text so much while elliptical-izing! Actually, I've never seen a person text during a workout, period. Text once and it is understood. Text twice and it is forgiven. Text three times and why are you here?! Clearly trumping me and my workout was not on her list of priorities. Every few minutes as I glanced at her machine's info board I would become very disappointed as the words "Pedal faster" flashed mockingly on the screen. She was so distracted by her phone that she could hardly handle the two at the same time.

She obviously can work out as hard or as easy she desires, and I understand that. It was just a bit inconsiderate of her to get on the machine next to me, get my hopes up, and then completely fail at delivering. By the end of my workout I had burned off twice the amount of calories as she. 

Yes, I felt awesome about myself, but it is the principle of the matter that is important! When you begin a workout on a cardio machine that is located directly to my right, you better be ready to work it!

And the results are in.

Thanks to all that put in their two cents on my silly hair post.

I ultimately decided that chocolate brown was the smartest choice. Maybe next Spring I can begin to gradually go lighter. We will see how that unfolds.

It is much more extreme and luscious in person, I promise. The poor quality of my MAC Photo Booth doesn't capture the color in all of its glory.

The family reactions were mixed.
My mom had not one negative thought upon seeing the change while the first sentence out of my 7-year-old brother's mouth was, "Why is your hair so ugly?" Mind you, my hair was blown out straight, which is quite a change to him since I never EVER straighten my hair.
My youngest sister noticed the straightened aspect of the do, but didn't recognize the color change until around 45 minutes later. "Whoa, is your hair a different color too?"
My 16-year-old sister, on the other hand, noticed everything at once and was pouring in the compliments.

My personal opinion? I love the results! Love, love!
As a bonus, I think that I have finally regained a sense of my natural hair color (or at least some variation thereof).
A new hair color just has that effect on a person, doesn't it?  
Clean slate.

What color is my hair?

No, seriously.

What color?

I asked three different people at work today this exact same question and received three very different, but confident answers:

brown

red

strawberry blonde.

Clearly?!

I personally have always thought that my hair had a reddish tint- at times it is definitely more apparent than others. I suppose that the color's current washed-out state doesn't do it much justice.

Either way, I've held tight to various shades of this color for several years now, and earlier in the week I decided that I need change. Part of me wants to go dark brown, part of me wants to go lighter, part of me isn't ready to stray too differently from its current color in fear that a biting inner jealousy would arise every time I pass a girl on the street with this same color. I'm quite partial to red tones.

I had a decision made earlier in the day that I wanted to flaunt my pale skin and go dark and luscious. Then I made the mistake of reading.

Internet forums far and wide are convincing me that this is not such a good idea, stating that too dark of hair tends to make pale skinned girls look washed out or older. Well, that's not fair. How come celebrity pale skinned beauties don't look washed out or old?

Then I read that, generally, if a girl was blonde as a child then she will more than likely be able to pull it off when she is older. Well, I was a natural blonde until the sixth grade when my hair started to gradually and inexplicably grow in a darker shade.

Whatever.

I have a hair appointment on Saturday.

I don't know what I want to do.
I do know that I don't want it to be boring.

Whatever again.

This post is nonsense.

Unorthodox.

I've noticed that I've had a great pop in followers recently so welcome, welcome everybody into my world- one of a recently self-proclaimed hopeless romantic that inevitably inhibits constant embarrassment and mild confusion on a daily basis. Fortunately for you, nine times out of ten, a camera is present to document such occasions in their entirety (and I am usually shameless enough to share such situations with complete strangers via the internet).

A little about me, you ask? (No, I didn't ask- shhhh!)

My life isn't exciting. No, it really isn't. Sometimes people find my family an interesting topic of discussion, but to me, my family unit defines normality in accordance with true 21st century American doctrine. Families of four who get along under a single roof is boring, anyhow.

I also have a boyfriend that I've dated since the first grade- just call us Cory and Topanga.
Before your mind begins to race, however, I will go ahead and cut the charade short. My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were five or six years old, yes. The relationship got fairly serious that year and by the end of it we were already holding hands. When first grade ended, there was a unanimous and unspoken decision to take some time apart. Around fifteen years later, the world's longest unintentional silent treatment ended. After the passage of awkward stages, peer pressures by the popular kids, and starter kit affairs, the two of us decided to give the relationship another try. And it has worked out wonderfully ever since.

I'm also fascinated by the 90's and am looking to reminisce those years of brilliance via Youtube videos at every available chance. In fact, merely minutes prior to this post, as I was mindlessly flipping channels, I came across what I briefly thought was "The Babysitter's Club"  but what was in actuality "The Babysitter's Seduction-" quite a difference in content. Since my abrupt buzz was instantly halted I resorted to Youtube to fulfill my fix. Girls, I know you remember this.

 

Moving on, if anything that I have said up to this point has warranted the tiniest bit of entertainment value on your part, then it is quite a good thing that you've stopped by lest you live the remainder of your life unaware of my strange aversion to buttons, my sincere angst towards cooking, or my inability to successfully paint my fingernails on the first attempt. Perhaps if you're lucky I'll even take the time to regale you with my latest tale that I've entitled "Tourism for Dummies" featuring my dad, boyfriend, and I. While the three of us had a grand time tramping the streets of D.C. this past weekend, accidentally finding ourselves in the front row of a museum showing of an English subtitled Asian film festival doesn't exactly scream success.

I also sincerely like to write- a rare form of human. I am a recent journalism graduate and have posted some of my work on my blog- namely music reviews (that combines the best of both worlds). More serious posts like these attract less of an audience and lack of motivation has become a leading factor in the reduction of such posts. It's okay though because I'm not offended.

In a nut shell, I'm glad that I've been able to gain a number of loyal followers during my brief stint at attempting to blog. Thanks to everyone for the support, and I hope that you continue reading. Sincerely, I do.  And if there is anything that I can include more of that would make the reader's experience more enjoyable, feel free to share!

--Emmy--

Life List.

Consistently in progress.

I call this a "Life List" as opposed to a "Bucket List" because the following is not a set of goals to achieve "before I die."

They are things to do while I am living.

(Online Edition)

--To receive a professional massage

--Hot air balloon ride

--To receive a professional pedicure and manicure

--To become fluent in Spanish, striving to live abroad for a year

--Get a tattoo

--To travel to at least one new city per year

--To legitimately visit all 50 states (Airports do not count)

--To set foot on 6 continents (Bonus points for Antarctica)

--Learn to cook well in order to provide a decent dinner at least 4 nights a week for my future family

--Physical trainer, making the gym a habit and not a chore

--To not lose sight of my innate creativity

--To travel abroad with a significant other

__________

In terms of my blog, aside from the obvious changes (I am aiming for a more simplistic approach), I've also created a separate page that revolves specifically around this list so that it can be updated when necessary.

4 Day Assessment.

I can't particularly put into words as to how I feel about the big move. It has only been 4 days and already there have been so many ups and downs, pros and cons, highs and lows with little to no consistency between the two.

 Hence,

THANKS!...

...to the most important people in my life.

You're helping me through this transition, and you don't even realize it.

Beloved Weekend.

Oh, was anyone interested as to how my birthday weekend unfolded?

Refreshing and just what the doctor ordered.

First, Eliot surprised me with some gifts:

The remainder of the weekend was spent as follows:

eating sushi

dancing

drinking wine

reading

cuddling

UT football and tailgating

spontaneous walks (through the recently discovered UT Gardens)

indulging in 3 Spoon's frozen yogurt

Of course, the fact that I was able to lay eyes on a couple of long lost friendly faces is a given.

I often wonder how the 18-year-old Emmy would have felt upon learning that her future, post graduate self would indeed eventually grow to not only love, but to actually miss the silly little town of Knoxville.

For the sake of my sanity, I hope that my next visit will be sooner rather than later- I miss it already!

Basic Space.

Waiting is anxiety-ridden.

Hours drag.

Potential responses are fickle.

I want this.

Will desire win outright?

Answers, please arrive in due time.

I'm stuck.

Q&A

Not a lot of my new followers know the reasoning behind why I have a blog in the first place. And unless one has delved deep into my archives, there really is no way of knowing.

Current events, however, have led me to reassert the reasoning behind my initial plunge into the blogging world.

When I was in school I took an Online Journalism course that specialized in web content- writing, video production, photojournalism, and the like. During the course the class was visited by a guest speaker who specialized in blogging. Prior to this encounter, blogging was something that I would have never considered taking part of; nothing exciting happens in my life, after all. What in the world would I ever write about?

The speaker, however, had insights about the positive repercussions of social networking in terms of future careers that I had never before considered. As a Journalism major, if I were to remember one notion from her lecture, it was that potential employers want to see prior work and writings, and blogs are an ideal outlet to exploit just that. I left class that day a bit more convinced that blogging was a good idea, but still not so convinced to put forth immediate action.

The next day at work (in a restaurant, mind you) I had a particular customer who decided to take an interest into his server's life. Upon learning that I was a journalism major the very first thing out of his mouth was,

"Do you blog?"

No, but I will certainly start!

What are the odds?

All I needed was that extra push to start, and I am so glad that I did!

Today, the above declaration rang true to form. I am happy to say that I had an interview today (for a big girl job) that went very well, and a large amount of questions were based on things that the interviewer had read on my blog. My blog also was a great demonstration of certain skills that I possess with html and code and, of course, writing.

So all who are taking advantage of this little thing called a blog, keep it up!

Social networking can reap rewards if used in the proper manner.

Another day hails another list.

I feel that a $0.30 tip warrants a "part two" to last night's rant.

Whiney? Maybe.

Truth? Yes.
Confused? Click here and catch up!

The following is a second list of everyday occurrences in my workplace that causes frustration to my person.

ahem:

Check, please!- the customers that usually consist of two separate parties that each offer to pay for the bill. It is a renowned fact that neither person truly wants to pay for the entire check, but politeness entitles them to offer. This is especially confusing to those on my end of the situation.

Will this be all together or on separate checks?

Diner 1: All together, I'll take it.

Diner 2: No no, I'll take it.

Diner 1 looks at me sternly: Give it to me.

Diner 2 furiously nods his/her head from side to side.

People, this does not help! I walk away without an answer to my initial question and am left with only one option: to print the check and set it down equidistant from each person and watch them squabble over who will follow through with their initial proclamation.

Illiterates- Do you have french fries?

No. If we did serve french fries then they would be listed in the menu, most likely under the "sides" portion.

What comes on the House Special pizza?

Actually, if you took the time to read 1/9 of a centimeter below where you are reading presently, you will find all of the ingredients listed in an orderly fashion.

There are menus for a reason.

Table Savers- Sometimes I see tables being pushed together. This could mean just one thing, that a large party is coming my way. Minutes later I check back to see how the progress is developing and whether or not the party has inevitably shown up. The most disconcerting happening is returning to the meshed together tables with 9 chairs surrounding them and only one body present.

5:45 p.m: Could I get you something to drink or put in order for an appetizer while you wait for the rest of the party?

No, they should be here soon.

6:14 p.m: the remainder of the party arrives.

It truly would not be insulting to anyone if you were to wait in the lobby instead so as to let me have my table free for other potential guests.

Yes you can- My favorite scenario is when somebody wants something served under certain conditions that are in no way plausible.

Well, I've done it before.

Are you sure about that? Because it truly is not only out of my control, but it is an impossible feat.

The customer is not always right.

Are you open?- Oh the notorious customers that come in five minutes before the restaurant closes! Don't get me wrong, I understand the argument that if the store hours are declared open until 10 p.m., then at 9:58 a person should be able to walk in and sit down and expect a fine dining experience. However, while you will definitely get a meal, please do not expect the cleaning process to halt because of your presence. Closing down a restaurant is a tedious and time dragging endeavor. Also, this last minute presence means that the server on the floor will be at work an hour longer than scheduled, so please please tip adequately and help to make their extra time spent worth their efforts.

The One-way Conversations- these happen to me much too often and typically proceed as follows:

Me: How is everyone doing this evening?

Diner: I'll have a water with lemon.

Me: Can I get you something to drink?

Diner: How big are your calzones?

Me: Would you like to start off with an appetizer?

Diner: We would like to order a large pepperoni and mushroom pizza.

Me: Could I get you another Coke?

Diner: Can I have another Coke?

The Nightmares- I think that the nightmares are the worst part of any job, especially serving. These dreams are so troubling because it all seems so real, too real for my taste. In my dreams, everything that could possibly go wrong does. Coke machines are down, we're out of this and we're out of that, drinks are spilled, customers are holding me hostage at their table while they figure out what they want to eat, and to top everything off, I am being quadruple sat with parties of 15.

Come on, conscience! The last thing I need is to be stressed out while I sleep! Throw me a bone, here!

Alright alright, for the sake of your sanity and for my own, I promise to stop this silly little rambling once and for all- no more talk about serving tables or the like. Forever. I mean it. 

Dear blog,

Thank you for giving me such a forgiving outlet of which to vent. 

You have been too kind.

I promise to no longer bore you with my petty rants.

Yours truly,

Emmy

Oh, a rant/list combo? Ok, sure.

I started serving tables at the beginning of my college career in order to acquire a modest, though much needed, extra income. It certainly is an entertaining job and a way to encounter an array of personality types. Quick cash and flexibility are main attractions to many college students.

Today, however, I realized that I am beyond ready to take the next step and to venture onward with my life. Thanks to a seemingly never ending shift consisting of one personal pet peeve after the other, my mind began to race with all of the annoyances that a waiter encounters on a daily basis. Even the tiniest maneuvers can wear a server's patience thin.

I discovered today, for example, that my biggest pet peeve when serving tables actually occurs during the cleaning process.

Returning from my final trip to the dish room I set my eyes upon the sight of sights- an empty section, clean tables, and filled condiments. All I lack now is a swift sweep under the table and then I'm all finis--wait--wha--NOOO.

My world suddenly comes to a crashing halt as I hear the faint clinking sound of metal being strewn about amidst the broomstick and the floor.

A fork.

A lonesome, solitary fork has somehow been left carelessly lying beneath the table.

Truly, is there anything worse than just returning from the dish room on the other side of the restaurant with nothing but thoughts of your immediate departure only to discover that you now must walk all the way back to where you came from for the sake of one stupid, insignificant fork?!

Then, the internal battle takes place- the denial.

What in the world is that clinking sound? Hmm, odd. Oops, I accidentally swept it into the dust pan. Darn.

Of course, by the time this entire thought process has taken place, valuable minutes have passed and thus, have been wasted. Conscious active, I inevitably squat, bend, reach, grab, and stalk angrily back to the dish room, fork in hand.

Other pet peeves, you ask? Perhaps some of you could relate:

(Please do not take offense to the following message. Ideas are based on a general population.)

Silent customers- those who suddenly become intimidated when asked, "What could I get you to drink?" even though seconds prior to the encounter they had been speaking with fluidity to the person across from them. It reminds me all too well of cartoons when everything suddenly falls silent, and the only sound effect taking place is the blinking of the character's eyelids. (*blink blink*)

I promise that this is not a trick question.

Bickering customers- Nothing could be more awkward than performing a simple task like taking one's order and having a fight break out before your very eyes. Do I stay here while you argue vigorously about what size pizza to order, or should I quietly back away? I'm at a loss.

Fibbers- Do we need a couple of more minutes to decide or are we ready to order?

We're ready. Ok kids, what do you want?

Really?

Cellphones- Nothing messes up my flow more than a person on a cell phone because it is, in fact, an entirely unpredictable scenario. There are those, for example, who expect their server to greet the table between 30 seconds to a minute after being sat and will gladly tell the person on the receiving end of the line to hold as they place a beverage order. On the contrary, this cannot be assumed of everybody. I've learned to not take it personal, for example, when eyes are rolled in my direction as I approach to greet a customer in the middle of their important phone call. I should know better, after all. It's rude to interrupt! Quickly I give a knowing "silly me" glance and turn around until the patron is ready for my presence.

Stiffers and Teenagers- Whether it is prejudice or ignorance, your waiters make little over $2.00 an hour. Tipping poorly or not at all will NEVER be taken lightly. Rude. Rude. Rude. It is at times quite easy to weed out the customers that have also worked in a restaurant from those who haven't the slightest idea of how such an establishment operates.

Pen Stealing- Do you steal garments from the mall? No? Then do not take my property either. Thank you.

Campers- customers who sit at a table for two hours and do not tip adequately. Since servers are not paid by the hour, the amount of money made is largely dependent on the turnover of the tables. Go take a nice walk when you're finished. It's better for the digestive system. (Actually, I made that up. Just leave my table please. Thanks!)

Two Drinks- I'd like a Diet Coke and a Water.
Oh really? Yeah? You need both of those?

By the time the meal is over, take a guess as to which of the two has been consistently refilled and which has yet to be touched.

Side work- Nothing irks me more than having the ice bins filled to the brim until another server receives a party of 14. Which ice bin do you suspect is then chosen to fill 14 glasses of water?

I do my best to stifle my cringe. Oy, please let my freshly stocked ice be!

_____________________________

Wow, how the list could go on and on and on and on. However, it truly isn't all that bad. 

I, for example, work with some incredible people who are all going to do great things some day. And at the end of the day I cannot help but to feel accomplished as I walk out the back door with a wad of cash in hand. I guess one needs to take the good with the bad (as with any job), but to be truthful, I am in disbelief that television networks have yet to create a reality show based on a restaurant staff. The drama and entertainment value would be tremendous.