Gym Class Hero.

Merely moments ago I was routinely hitting the gym for a moderately challenging cardio workout. Thanks for sharing, Emmy. Do you want a trophy?

Well, yes I do want one of those. However, that is not the point of this story, which actually does contain one.

An undertaking that I habitually indulge in while engulfed in my run/elliptical/stair-master/bike routine is to compete with the person on the machine that is directly to my right. That is, every so often I will subtly glance at their machine's info board and compare statuses- total miles ran, calories burned, level, time, etc.

I do not do this purposely, and I do not have an explanation as to why the person to my right is always my opponent as opposed to the one on the left. I do, however, always strive to make it a fair race (though unknowing on their part) by taking into consideration which one of us began their workout first coupled with a comparison of the challenger's weight, gender, and age.

While I repeatedly observe this personal habit and while it irks me to no end, I do nothing to put a stop to the practice because I find that I always work that much harder than I do if riding solo.

I want to "win" because it makes me feel good.

Today, I knew that I had my work cut out for me as my oblivious competition and I arrived at our cardio machines at the exact same time. Oh, a challenge eh? (<- I'm not really Canadian so I don't know why I added that.)

This girl meant business. Equipped with two sweatbands (for her wrist and forehead), a pair of sweatpants, a wife beater, and an attachable mp3 player- I'd be blatantly lying if I said that I wasn't a little intimidated...or a lot intimidated. Clearly this girl was either a marine in training or perhaps even a professional boxer in her spare time. Be it as it may, she embodied perfectly the persona of one who actually works out for fun. You know, enjoys it.
For a brief moment I even thought that perhaps she plays the same game that I play since the two of us were stretching at the same time, approached the machine at the same time, and then flipped on our miniature TVs at the same time.

Oh, it's going down.

It didn't take long for me to realize, however, that I had made a horrible mistake in my assumption and that the inferred race was all in my head and my head alone.

To put it simply, I have never seen a person text so much while elliptical-izing! Actually, I've never seen a person text during a workout, period. Text once and it is understood. Text twice and it is forgiven. Text three times and why are you here?! Clearly trumping me and my workout was not on her list of priorities. Every few minutes as I glanced at her machine's info board I would become very disappointed as the words "Pedal faster" flashed mockingly on the screen. She was so distracted by her phone that she could hardly handle the two at the same time.

She obviously can work out as hard or as easy she desires, and I understand that. It was just a bit inconsiderate of her to get on the machine next to me, get my hopes up, and then completely fail at delivering. By the end of my workout I had burned off twice the amount of calories as she. 

Yes, I felt awesome about myself, but it is the principle of the matter that is important! When you begin a workout on a cardio machine that is located directly to my right, you better be ready to work it!